Everyday I receive fascinating emails from men (married/ bisexual) that I would love to share some of them here

When i've started dedicating my life to male sexuality as a spiritual process to know one himself,  I needed to see if it's truth what theoretically I saw- that there are more homosexual men than these who considered "gay people" (gay people - these who are taking part in "gay-life-style/scene). Most of homosexual men are married living in big split and constant conflict with their nature. 


Here is one:



"Hello Osher,

Have you seen this movie?

As a married man, married to my wife, yes i am attracted to the male sex.  When i was a small boy, i remember the scene in the Disney movie Jungle Book when Mowgli got hypnotized by the male-voice snake -- being aroused by the whole scene, not necessarily thinking about it, but totally excited by the boy in a trance and under the control of the male voice snake and amazingly happy.  Have you seen this movie?

  It was a cartoon, and there is a new Jungle Book movie that just came out to theatres, but i only saw the original movie from, i think, 1968 or 1969?  Then, when i was in second grade, i remember picking out as my best friend a boy.  i remember picking out this particular boy because he was the best looking of all the boys in the class. 

A year later, my aunt started grooming me for a sexual encounter (yes, i am not lying). She would be wearing a bathing suit and she noticed that when i saw her exposed legs, i would have an erection. So she started exposing me more and more to her legs, when no one else in the family was looking.  She began to control exactly when she wanted me erect.  Then one day we were in an apartment, i was about 11 years old, and she exposed me to her legs.

  My cock was fully erect!  She reached out and grabbed it, then said she was going to bed.  i said i was going to bed too, and we were in bed together making love.  But this relationship i finally cut off very soon after it started, maybe just weeks later. (And i did not live with her, only saw her a few times a year.)  i knew i was attracted to the female, this was obvious, but i also had fantasies and dreams about boys. 

In high school, my fantasies about boys became very strong, and i feared that i was homosexual, but i also knew without any doubt that i got erect from seeing girls, especially their legs.  In college, a boy made a pass at me on the phone.

 I acted like i had no clue what he was talking about.  Then i invited him to my family's home (i was living in a dormitory away from home), and i thought we would have a chance to make out.  But i was too scared to initiate anything, and he didn't initiate anything so the whole thing went nowhere.  

I met my wife several years later, we got married, i did not have any flings with other people including males, and my wife and i conceived 3 kids.  Later when i got a laptop computer, i started looking at gay porn.  Now gradually i have moved more and more to interest in males, maybe more than interest in females -- although i look at a lot of lesbian porn too.  But the lesbian porn sort of "inspires" me to look back again at the gay porn.  Does that make sense?

  •  When was complete sex with men so know i am a complete bottom.  Well, i have been submissive all my life.  Submissive both to females and to males.  When i masturbate it is often with the context that the other male is my Master and i am his slave.  But the same thing is true for my fantasies about females.  She is my Mistress, and i am Her slave.

If there is anything i know about myself, it is that i am totally submissive and bottom.  Does that make sense?"



Come back later to read about my conclusions along the along the years working with men from all over the world: