After that I was confused and had a hard time finding myself, because when I topped I couldn’t last for longer than 2 mins sometimes less and didn’t want to bottom because of my first relationship. Throughout my 20’s I abused myself sexually with lots of hook ups, hate to say it but at this current moment been with over 300 guys and not even sure if that is accurate. For a while I thought I had a sex addiction, but felt it was the norm in gay society.
I used to be a passionate scholar, go to the gym everyday, and be hopeful of the future. However in the past two months I have undergone and overcome panic attacks, insomnia, suicidal thoughts, poor appetite, and feel I have lost that part of myself. Can it come back? How can I recover my old self?
I thought as a gay bottom, pain after butt sex is just normal. However, this kind of “pain” is “sharp” pain and it only happens during anal sex and during/after bowel movement.